I think Love and Intimacy are basic needs in a human being. No matter where you come from or what you look like, everybody needs love…a hug…a touch..some form of affection.
Before starting LAID I had gone without affection from a significant other from July, 2008 to January, 2015. From November, 2006 to July, 2008 there was
a long distance affair with only two visits. Before that I lived in the “Affection Desert” for nine years. Yes…..YES…I said 9.
I was not disabled all of these years. I was disillusioned. You see, I had married and divorced three men and I figured I was doing something wrong. Instead of trying to get it right…AGAIN…I just focused on raising my children.
You might wonder why I’m divulging all of this. Why am I sharing this very personal part of my life? Simple…some of you are going through it too. You live without the love and affection of a significant other. You go out during the day, have a wonderful time socializing with your friends and come home to your single hospital bed and Netflix, Facebook or some other form of electronic entertainment.
Truthfully, it gets lonely.
OK…BUT WHY DID YOU START LAID?
Well, after love and intimacy had reentered my life I realized that it was ME who kept me wandering in that lonely desert. It was ME who saw myself as broken with a disability. It was ME who saw myself as unlovable and undesirable. I didn’t want to take the chance so I just took on a “whatever” type attitude.
In the background of my life, since I was 18, there has been a gentleman with whom I could never make the right connection at the right time. NOW WAS OUR TIME. The years of wandering in the “desert” colliding with the loving affection of this man who had held a special place in my heart for almost thirty years created the perfect storm. It awakened thoughts and feelings I thought long dead and buried by sands of loneliness.
Not once since I have known him has he considered me anything but beautiful. All of the reasons I felt embarrassed and apprehensive he embraced and appreciated…even when I couldn’t. Again, I was thinking about love when I thought I would live the rest of my life without…
I will continue in my next blogpost.
THE LAID NETWORK 