Reflection 

Written By: Tiffany Hall

I knew you were trouble but, took the risk anyway. Our first phone conversation? I cursed you out and you called me back admiring my fire and my voice. You insisted on being my man.

I knew you were crazy, but decided to get to know you anyway. You made up a twin brother just to talk to me. Your quirky charm won me over and i agreed to meet you.

The day we met I should have walked away but, I stayed. We sat in the park and you kissed me. That kiss led us upstairs to the roof and I broke my rules for you. You weren’t my first, but you were the first that really matter.

You broke my heart. 3 months of constant affection and dates and you just left. No reason, no justification, no closure. You. Just. Left. Didn’t hear from you. Didnt see you. You just left.

Six years later, Random Myspace message. Honestly had no idea who you even were. Once reminded i agreed to let you come over and explain why you left. You had a baby by then and one on the way. I had just ended a bad relationship. Was suicidal. You were supposed to be my only goodbye. The sexual tension in the air was suffocating. You lifted me onto the bed and for the next 3 months we constantly made love every way imaginable. 

I fell in love all over again but so did you. We were inseparable. We weren’t “dating” but we were together.  Everyone thought it. We clearly were in love. The feeling was so obvious people thought we were married. I spent two whole years devoted to you before you said we should get married. I agreed. After all, everytime we separated into different relationships we ended up back together. Marriage was the logical choice….right?

Marriage, the beginning of the end. Its funny how the kiss on our wedding day was the last kiss between us that meant anything. Having a title so prominent as ‘Husband’ was too much for you. You changed so quickly. Became so distant and mean.  I didnt think we’d last the year but things turned and got better. We searched for apartments, spoke of expanding our family, vacationing in Italy. I was truly happy and you said you were too.

Your demons were stronger than my love. You lied. You hadn’t changed. You were a dog undercover. You never deactivated your dating site accounts. You were constantly flirting at work. Trying to hook up with girls on facebook. Lying about our relationship. I called you out on it. You tried to change. Made an effort. Things got better. Then SHE showed up and Jesus let go of the wheel.

Til divorce do us part. You chose your ex over your wife. The same ex who put you down for YEARS and only got with you because she’s mesmerized by your dick. You broke your vows for sex. Shouldn’t you be dead? Isnt marriage til death? Funny thing is, I doubt you filed for divorce. This began Nov. 16th 2016 and today July 25th 2017 I still haven’t been served. Some of the last words you spoke to me were “don’t be in such a hurry to divorce me”. Not sure what that meant.

July 25th 2017. 5 years later. It still hurts. I’m not destroyed. As a queen I’d never cry over a Jester. It hurts because i wasted my love on someone so unworthy. I defended you against so many verbal assaults. Held you while you cried over your dead fianceé and children, I held your hand at your mother’s funeral and explained to your sons why they could never see their grandma ever again. So much of myself i gave for you. Gave to you. Time. Emotion. Life. You just abandoned me for second hand pussy. I hope she’s enjoying spending time with you on OUR anniversary. 

I don’t hate you.  A part of me will always love you. However, once Dirty Diana the secondhand ho has had her fill don’t think you can come back. I refuse to go backwards. I will not downgrade.

Happy Anniversary you dildo. (I’d call you a dick but you’re not real emough for that)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s